I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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