My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
