States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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