I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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