# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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