You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
