You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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