I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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