nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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