At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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