She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
