she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize