Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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