I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
