I've blown a few things in my day
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
