these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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