Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize