We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
