YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
