i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Vodka?
Forever.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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