You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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