I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
