i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
