im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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