The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
