I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
