Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
