this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
