we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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