Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
