She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
