I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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