talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
