all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
