Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize