so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
