Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
In America we eat man semen.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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