Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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