I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
