i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
