Welp...herpes.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
