Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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