Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
