i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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