I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
how drunk are you?
Several
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize