I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
