well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
