You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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