What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
