He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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