Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
