quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
