so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think my nap took me to another dimension
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
