My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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