TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
