Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
