I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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