I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
