rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
