wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
