if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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