is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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