just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
