Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We are all done wearing pants today
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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