She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Dear god my vagina.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
