"it" just moved
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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